Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Fear of the Unknown!

What is it about me that I so desire to stay comfortable? That I prefer to do things like I know how? To speak a language I speak well? To not talk to strangers? To spend more time in the doctor's lounge than on the ward floor or in a patient's room (lately, after ward rounds I have been complacement and just remained in the doctor's lounge instead of trying to stay around where things are actually happening)?

I feel like I'm in the third grade Mrs. South's class...and I just got back an english test grade and I need to get my parents to sign it or else I won't get the two points extra credit....or I'm in the 7th grade and I need some extra credit in a class and I have to go ask the teacher, but I'm scared too...b/c I'm afraid...afraid the teacher will _____. Exactly. Nothing. She won't bite my head off....She won't physically attack me...What will she do? Say No? Say something that in the end will probably only help me? If I continue to stay comfortable, then how will I truly learn? If I'm not willing to choose boldness and choose action, then how can I be a healing hand or a hope for anyone?

There was so much potential for this trip. A lot of it was seen and used. I feel, though, that after the first week or two, I leveled off...that is...I hit a standstill because I became comfortable. The good thing is there is still more potential to learn more these last 7 days. I head back to Atlanta next Thursday, and then back to school the following Monday. When I get back to the hospital tomorrow, I hope that I apply what I've said here to the environment. I could be applying it today, but I became pretty sick yesterday and last night...and so I couldn't go to work today. Things are looking better now and I should return to work tomorrow.

Our actions can be so powerful, but only if we choose to act. Our words can be so powerful, but only if we choose to speak. We have the choice.


  1. I think for most of us it is human nature to want to stay in our comfort zone. It is not bad, but you are right that greatness , for lack of a better word, takes boldness and conquering fear to step forward and try to make a difference. Keep trying!

  2. So true. Feel better Zach! I'm glad you're learning so much on this trip.